Witch, Please: Potions and Politics

"You are a witch by being female, untamed, angry, joyous" 

It was February 2017. Lana Del Rey, via the medium of Twitter, sent out a call to her witchy following to hex Donald Trump. The ingredients were simple. A bowl of water, a bowl of salt, a tarot card, a stub of an orange candle and an unflattering photo of Trump (which was no doubt the easiest ingredient on the list to source). On mass, the spell was cast on a waning crescent moon. But it seems that the witches got their dates slightly confused. When the news broke of POTUS' contraction of Covid-19 on the 2nd of this month, many looked to the occult. 

In 2020, Witches are nothing new to us. They are a bewitching archetype of fantastical entertainment and continue to thrive in popular culture. Witches have turned children into mice, been flattened by houses, hailed Satan, cooked children in their ovens, battled family curses and put lyrical spells on a town's adults. As a child of the 90s, I grew up alongside the magical televised women in Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, Charmed and The Worst Witch. Their looks might differ: from bald as a boiled egg, green, hag-like to extreme youthfulness and sex appeal, but their dependence on magic remains.  

We all know of the infamous persecution of 'Witches' in America, The Salem Witch Trials. 200 women were accused of Witchcraft and 20 were executed, despite the fact that the colonial officials did not actually believe in the practice... They became some of the first magical martyrs. Five of these women were exonerated on Halloween in 2001: Bridget Bishop, Susannah Martin, Alice Parker, Wilmot Redd and Margaret Scott. 300 years too late. Fuelled by militant religion, Witch-hunts were also widespread across Early Modern Europe. Some historians believe there may have been up to 60,000 executions and interestingly, not all of these were women, as one might expect. 

Today, however, you'll find the term is more often used in a political and public forum. Anti-Communist rhetoric fuelled the word's use in the sixties with Stalinist Witch-hunts or McCarthyite Witch-hunts becoming rife. Since Trump's inauguration, he has tweeted the word over 400 times. Ironic for the most powerful man in the land. The closest he has come to a stake is on his plate.

Unlike in the 17th century, where the title 'Witch' was used as a derogatory, many have sought in recent times, to reclaim the word. Dressed as Witches and murmuring hexes, Women's International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell, simply known as W.I.T.C.H, stormed Wall Street on Halloween in 1968. The next day the Dow reportedly went down 13 points. Their manifesto exulted "If you are a woman and dare to look within yourself, you are a Witch. You make your own rules. You are free and beautiful... You are a Witch by being female, untamed, angry, joyous, and immortal." Their matriarchal 'coven' acted as a definitive aggressor against patriarchal oppression. The Witch was their emblem for power rather than Witchcraft, a tool to achieve liberation and a cloak for their sisterhood. 

Similarly, those identifying as Witches today remain anti-establishment. The Witch has become synonymous with activism and empowerment in recent years. Before the 2017 Women's March, Andi Ziesler heralded that "We need to go full witch." Recently, Witches have stood in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. With their own history of oppression, (although acknowledged on a completely different scale), many feel that it is necessary to contribute to the discourse. Protesting against systemic racism, Witches stand proud with the community both in person, at demonstrations, and also on the social media site, Tiktok. Occupying an increasingly popular alternative side of the platform, with the aid of celebrity endorsement, known as WitchTok. Their most recognisable tag #WitchesForBLM emphasis is largely upon protection, with many Witches reciting spells of support for the cause. However, there are also some darker TikToks where hexes are recited towards the police. Yet, the intent behind all of these remain the same: any form of persecution is intolerable. 

As with most movements, there is a divide between more practiced Witches and those new to the craft, known in the community as 'baby Witches'. This divide was only strengthened recently, when a group of trending baby Witches came under fire for hexing first the fae and then the moon. The mythical fae are cunning and mischievous magical beings regaled in folklore across endless cultures. The moon is said to enhance a Witch's magic and acts as a basis for many incantations. Apparently, both do not conform to human rules, so neither were at serious risk of the babies' spells, but regardless the hexes were a definite no no.   

For some, calling a woman the title 'Witch' remains a misogynistic insult and is utilised especially in the political sphere. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) was accused by Conservative Christians of leading “a coven of witches that cast spells on President Trump 24 hours a day, seven days a week." The woman has no rest! In the run up to the 2016 election, Hillary Clinton was dubbed as the 'Wicked Witch of the Left' and Twitter was flooded with edited images of her riding a broom. Across the pond, in 2017, the same tactic was used at Westminster, with MPs sending out Christmas cards depicting Theresa May as the Wicked Witch, but this time, of Westminster. The connection between strong women and Witchcraft is not a new political tactic. Queen Elizabeth I, Anne Boleyn, Joan of Arc and Cleopatra were all slandered with the title. It seems that powerful, intelligent women have always been threats and the only feasible way they have achieved their position is through sorcery not legitimate practice.  

In Hollywood, the Me-Too movement has brought to the forefront female equality, with a campaign waged against sexual harassment and the silencing of women. In some places of the world, however, the victimisation of women and real Witch-hunts are ongoing. In India, when landowning women are accused of Witchcraft, their lands are stolen. Only in July of this year, having been denounced a Witch, 90 year old Akua Denteh was beaten to death in Ghana's East Gonja District. This is not an isolated occurrence. 

 
2020 was predicted as the year of the Witch. A year which heralded the beginning of 'The Great Transformation', an astrological cycle where Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto came into conjunction and one which Hecate, the goddess of magic and Witchcraft, well and truly rules at a crossroads. In the age of Me-Too, female empowerment is at an all time high. Whether one believes in magic or not, as a feminist, any defence against injustice or discrimination is commendable. Witch please, sign me up. 

Pyramids Are Best Left in Ancient Egypt: Arbonne Exposé

Ancient Egypt isn't the only place pyramids exist. They also operate on the Interwebs.  

Where representatives once went door-to-door, preying on friendship groups and hosting parties to rope in members, the practice has taken over online. Instagram is the new vehicle for retail selling, with the ability to slide into anyone's DMs and offer them a once in a lifetime opportunity. Posts are littered with comments of you being 'the perfect fit' to market fashion brands, diet supplements, beauty products: the list is endless. 

Multi-Level Marketing (MLMs) otherwise known as Network Marketing companies, utilise direct sales of products to customers and they are thought of, by many, as equal to pyramid schemes. Although unlike pyramid schemes, they actually sell real products. They encourage existing distributors to recruit new members who are then paid a percentage of their recruits' sales. The main company aim is to increase the sales force in order to boost revenue. Commission is based on the total volume of sales garnered and is paid across the various levels. But instead of a trickle down effect, it is rather a trickle UP outcome, whereby the people at the top make the most money, often at the expense of those in their teams at the bottom. Recruits are therefore inspired to achieve more sales in order to work up the levels and gain more commission, often through recruiting people themselves. The focus is not solely on the products as it is in other business practices.    

It is this reliance on recruiting rather than direct retail selling that make MLMs controversial. In 2003, Bill Ackman launched a class action suit against Herbalife, a global MLM corporation that develops and sells dietary supplements. The main claim that Ackman made was that Herbalife is a "predatory pyramid scheme designed to fail." He argued that “Herbalife inflates the suggested retail price (SRP) of its products and overstates ‘Retail Sales’ in its public filings to conceal the fact that Recruitment Rewards earned by distributors are substantially greater than the Retail Profit they generate.” In 2017, after a settlement with the FDC, it was ruled that Herbalife would pay $200 million and fundamentally restructure its business "so that participants are rewarded for what they sell, not how many people they recruit,” the FTC Chairwoman Ramirez promised. How much this has happened is disputed. 

   

One major condemnation of MLMs by the anti-MLM community, and rightly so, is the fact that MLM consultants often target vulnerable people and those of lower educated or lower economic backgrounds. This is largely because the dream of making it big can seem unattainable for people without access to higher education, which typically affords a higher salary and therefore, the money to fund their dream lifestyle. The consultants pitch is therefore easier placed within these sectors. They are bound to have more interest and take up.    

However, a friend of mine, who joined the MLM Arbonne in October 2019 was a recent University graduate just looking to supplement her income. She made it to the first level of District Manager and then drastically quit the company recently. The reason I knew that she had left the company was because I noticed that her Arbonne website had been deleted from her Instagram profile and I asked another friend who confirmed she had split ways with the brand. Quite the Sherlock Holmes, I know! As a concerned and frankly nosy friend, I reached out and asked if she might tell me a bit about her experience inside one of the top MLMs.  

How did you get involved with Arbonne? 

It all started on Instagram, as these things normally do, and I saw this girl who was a friend of someone I followed. I just loved her feed. She was kind of this person who was #goals as it were: body goals, photo goals... just goals. A very attractive, aesthetically pleasing person with generally good vibes, so I followed her and I liked some of her photos, and then she actually liked and commented on some of mine. We just got talking. I thought she was really cool and we hit it off. We met up for dinner and she talked about the business a little bit, but it wasn't until maybe a month and a half later that I actually bit the bullet and joined because of 30 Days to Healthy Living, the company's main programme that promises long lasting weight loss.  

What attracted you to the brand? 

 
Basically, I have always had a problem with my body, and the 30 Days to Healthy Living programme was showing amazing results for people. A lot of the before and after photos were legit, and I even saw in person the effects that the programmes had. It was about losing weight sustainably and the focus was on gut health. The products were also vegan, non-GMO, and all this good stuff, so I just thought "wow, this is amazing." I had always wanted to make the switch to veganism and more sustainable products. The possibility of earning money on the side by promoting these was just the cherry on top (of the worst cake ever, but y’know, we live and learn).  

How did you create a client base? 

They make it very clear that it is network marketing, so I would message a bunch of people that I already knew that I followed on Instagram and, later, people who would interact with my posts, whether that was on my profile or on my Instagram stories. I would just send these really cringe voice messages or just long, long messages, basically being like "Hey, I have a great opportunity, I think you would be great." 

What impact did joining Arbonne have on your life? 

In short, a pretty shitty one. 

I joined Arbonne at the height of my desperation, after I graduated uni. I had been looking for a job and I didn't find one quick enough. I needed something to fill my time.  

In terms of my personal relationships, it did cause some arguments, some tension with people. I remember I had an argument with a really good friend of mine. We're luckily still friends, but I tried to get her to buy the 30 Days programme, which has a retail value of about £500 pounds, but I was like "Hey, listen you can get it for £170, which is basically a bargain." I mean, in terms of the difference in price, it's a bargain, but £170 is not considered cheap for most people, and so understandably, at the time, she didn't want to buy it. I took that for her not wanting to support me. So it was those kinds of little rifts that were caused by Arbonne. 

I'm also fairly confident that my social media following went down, or that at least some people stopped following my stories. I didn't really keep track of that part to be honest. 

But as for my mental health, ummm... well, we would have these training calls, and they would insinuate to the people that weren't doing as well that we just simply weren't putting the work in. When in fact, how well you do at convincing people to buy the product isn't really up to you. It's up to the people who are receiving the messages and how they respond to them. So we were being blamed for things that were completely out of our control, and that was absolutely AWFUL for my mental health. I was like "Oh, I need to try harder. This is why I'm not succeeding", when actually the system is built for people to fail, especially for those on the bottom, and for people on the top to thrive.

What did you think of the products? 

Frankly, the reason why I stayed so long, apart from the friends I made, was the products. On the business side of things, I was having a terrible time, but I absolutely loved the products. I loved the protein powder, I loved the fizz sticks, I loved the skincare. They were of a really high quality and standard. If you know anything about Arbonne, you'll know that they are owned by the Groupe Rocher, which is a French company who also manufacture brands like Yves Rocher and Petit Bateau. The products obviously won't work for everybody, such is the nature of skincare and health products, but I honestly thought that they were incredible.  

How did you make money? 

With all of these MLMs, or legal pyramid schemes, how making money works isn't  actually through recruiting people, which is a very common misconception and one that I want to put to bed right now. You make money if people buy directly through your store. This increases the amount of points you get in the point system and the higher the levels you reach, the more rewards you get. 

However, recruiting people will help you more easily reach a higher marker because everyone below you who makes sales contributes to the points that you receive. So it's in your best interest to have a larger team. (I had a team of around 5 below me.) But, just the ACT of recruiting people doesn't actually get you those points: your recruits have to actually MAKE sales. 

The bigger your team is, the more likely it was for you to have a steady stream of income. I have to say that the people at the third or fourth level of Arbonne, if they have a big team, become absolutely loaded. It's not even a joke. You also receive enough money to rent a Mercedes-Benz when you reach level three, but the car HAS to be white AND have the Arbonne branding on it: free advertising... we love to see it.

In terms of how much money I made, particularly in conjunction with how much I spent, I didn’t even break even. Not even close. I earned about £25 per month once I was promoted to District Manager, but I spent MUCH more on the products themselves. The disparity between the two figures is depressing, so I won’t disclose it, but by God, to anyone who has read this far who is STILL thinking of joining an MLM... girl, why?

Do you think Arbonne delivers on their core values: Empowerment, Transparency and Sustainability? 

Yes and no. 

Empowerment- I really don't believe they are particularly empowering. Companies like Arbonne prey on people in vulnerable situations, particularly jobless or low-income women and single mothers. Once they join the team, they try and call it empowering when really its like "Hey, try and make money by recruiting people". That's not empowerment. Also, as a feminist, I find this whole 'Boss Babe' narrative so harmful. It's so patronising to women: why do they need to be called a 'Boss Babe' to be successful? It's just a bit of a joke.  

Transparency- yes, on the ingredients front and how the business worked. But in terms of NDAs, they weren't transparent about that at all. That was very much in the small print. 

Sustainability- yes, absolutely. They have a deal with TerraCycle whereby you send back empty pots/containers and those get recycled and they use really lovely ingredients. 

Some people in the anti-MLM community relate conditional friendships within their company. Did you experience this at Arbonne?  

Okay here's the thing: I am still friends with some people in Arbonne, but I have noticed that since leaving, they talk to me a lot less. So while we can be friendly with each other and we can hang out occasionally, I have noticed that they engage with me much less. Is that a conditional friendship? I would say so, in a couple of respects. I don't think it's conscious on their part, and that kind of makes it worse to be honest. It shows that they are able to shut people who are not in Arbonne out of their lives without even realising it. But I would never actually tell the people involved that. 

As an Instagram follower of yours, I noticed a few of your stories when you worked for the company. You made comments and had to defend Arbonne when people asked about it being a pyramid scheme. Is there any form of NDA when you work for them? 

The stories I made defending Arbonne as a pyramid scheme, that kind of was just me getting defensive about it. 

I actually didn't notice the NDA until things were pointed out to me in anti-MLM videos. You're not technically allowed to slander Arbonne until at least a year after you quit, because they can come after you legally, which is why you're probably going to have to omit my name when you put this article up.

Whilst working for Arbonne, presumably you heard about horror stories from the anti-MLM community. How and why did you dismiss these stories? 

I was looking at the success of the other people and the #goals person who recruited me. I thought if these people have managed to do this, then I can too, and so it doesn't really matter what people say. I really believed I could make it happen for myself. I also thought very toxically at the time, I'll admit, that the people who failed obviously didn't try hard enough. They were losers and I wasn't going to be loser. 

When in fact, if you don't succeed, that does NOT mean that you're a loser. If you fail at an MLM, it's because they are designed for most people to fail. I think the statistic is about 80% or even 90% of people not even making a profit after joining. 

But I dismissed these stories because as I say, I really thought I could make it happen for myself, but I quickly found out my success had very little to do with me and had everything to do with people agreeing to do this thing with me. I discovered that pretty often, I couldn't change people's minds.   

Throughout my Arbonne "career" as it were, I was always watching anti-MLM videos. First, I watched them to make fun of them. But I think subconsciously, I always believed that what I was doing was sus and I was trying to convince myself otherwise. 

But, in the end, something triggered me to leave and then finally, all the information in the anti-MLM videos just started to make complete sense. It just clicked in my brain and then, I wasn't making fun of them anymore. I couldn't continue taking myself seriously because I believed everything that the people in these videos were saying.   

Why did you decide to leave? 

There was a huge launch of some new products some months ago, including a new protein powder. It was mint chocolate chip flavour, but it was very limited edition and so, in order to get it, you had to buy two sets of these brand new products. Together these cost £500, and even if you didn't want everything in the set, that was the only way you could get the new protein powder. 

Obviously, I looked at that and I was like "no, thats f*****, I shouldn't have to spend £500 on things that are part of a set that I don't even want just to get this protein powder." How ridiculous is that? So that just didn't sit well with me at all. I then dared to point this out in the Arbonne group chat and the leader was like "Oh well, you obviously don't take your business seriously enough" and I was like "Excuse me, I beg your pardon, but most people don't have £500 to spend full stop, let alone on things that they don't need." That experience for me was instrumental in my leaving Arbonne and taking in the truths that people were telling me. The red flags finally begin to wave.     

Have you had any backlash for leaving? 

Not really, not overtly. 

I'm sure that people have spoken about me in private. Especially since I gave a girl who really isn't doing well in the company a hard time about still being in Arbonne, in the interest of helping her of course, but we got into quite a heated argument about it. She didn't want to admit that she has lost more money than she has made and that she should quit while she is still ahead.

What would you tell other people thinking about joining an MLM? 

Don't. 

Do not. Unless you want to be gaslighted. Unless you want to lose money.

You're taking a huge gamble on something that may or may not work. Just get a normal job like most people. You may believe that it really will work for you, and you know, the people who have made it work for them, kudos to them. But the average person will not succeed in an MLM, so just don't try it. You will lose money at one point or another. You will be made to feel like you're not working hard enough, so just don't and save yourself the grief.  

The purpose of this article is not to make fun of those who are or have been involved with MLMs. In my research, I have found that some advocates of the anti-MLM community who have not been directly involved with an MLM themselves, condemn the stupidity of someone joining. However, it is my belief that those involved are victims of a booby-trapped system and are indoctrinated by the companies' sale of the potential lifestyle they might achieve, if only they can work hard enough. 

My friend's account is by no means the worst I have heard, and is but a drop in the ocean of the MLM malcontent. The naysayers may argue that her fault was not sticking at it: many work at it for years and still fail. But you don’t have to have failed at an MLM to take issue with them. You could have reached the top level like Not The Good Girl and still have a lot of tea to spill on the problematic world of MLMs.

With the full impact of lockdown and the lessening of the job retention scheme, the already saturated MLM industry will continue to gain even more new recruits as more people face redundancy. Avon has already reported a 114% rise in recruits during lockdown (according to TIME). In the past, recessions have also proven great fodder for MLM success with members signing up in their millions. The 2020 recession is bound to follow the same surge. It is mine and my anonymous friend's hope that this article will serve as a warning about joining similar companies. You could stand to lose a lot more than just money.       

Dear Stephanie... The Twilight Essay No One Asked For: Periods, Pedos and Toxic Partners

It has been fifteen years to the day, since Stephanie Meyer released the first instalment of the Twilight series, a fatalist tale of two star-crossed lovers; one an extraordinary vampire, Edward Cullen, and the other a normal beige human, Bella Swan.     

I can only presume that the pressures of lockdown finances prompted the release of the companion novel, Midnight Sun, in August 2020. The draft copy was leaked online in 2009 and at the tender age of thirteen, I became embroiled in the intricate world of online book piracy; sucking up those illegal worlds with enthusiasm, akin to Edward's removal of venom and blood from Bella's infected hand in the dance studio. (I am aware you are now shuddering with disgust at my superior recollection of the series, like I shudder at Kristin Stewart's performance in the dramatised version of this scene.) I have just read it legitimately and let me tell you, things don't hit as hard when they're legal!   

Owing to this timely publishing and the fact that I have spent much of my furlough in the same manner as New Moon Bella: dispassionately watching the changing of the seasons from my window, (a 2020 mood if ever I saw one), I thought now was the perfect time to unpack some problematic issues my friends and I have struggled with for years concerning Meyer's vampire drama series. I realise no one wants this or will frankly engage with this, but my choices were limited to a blog post or finding a masters degree to exorcise the full extent of the questions I have rolling around my brain... and this seemed slightly less time consuming. 

The students in Forks, especially the male quota, were legit obsessed with Bella when she first arrived. Ignoring Edward for now, of those characters Meyer names (Mike, Eric and Tyler)- they all tried to d*** Bella down. I could understand the argument that Queen Jessica makes in the movies and Vamp Edward makes in Midnight Sun: that she was a shiny new toy as the new girl. It is true that Forks doesn't seem like an especially engaging town for the youth, so anything new could seem fun. But this being said, as soon as they were around Bella for a few days, they must have noticed her lack of personality. Why did they continue to find her hot s***? The boys of Forks also prove the point that no matter if a woman demonstrates not a single iota of interest in a man, because they find her attractive, they will continue to badger her and force her to feel the same as they do.   

Moving on to the car crash scene where Tyler skids on black ice and almost kills Bella dead because she is too busy staring at her vamp crush to get out of the way of the incoming collision. Later that day, Bella gets angry at Charlie after he tells her mother, Renée that she almost died. 

"Um... you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty. 

I was appalled. "You told Mom!" 

"Sorry"

Honestly what the f*** Bella? We get it, you have Daddy and Mommy issues. Which fictitious teenage girl doesn't? That is no reason to get angry at King Charlie, who spent his morning putting snow chains on your car before work so that you didn't crash. If I were Bella, I would have been more surprised if he hadn't mentioned it to my mother. What disrespect! (I would also like to take the opportunity here to note how under respected Charlie is in this series. A man of so few words and yet a shining star. I stan that man.)    

Now, on to what I would call one of the most fundamental topics my friends and I  have debated over the years. What happens when Bella is on her period? It is acknowledged by everyone at Forks High School that the Cullens already miss a lot of school. Side note: surely this would be some kind of problem, does attendance not count towards your ability to graduate in the US? Truancy seems like it would be a bigger deal. The sun makes them big old disco balls. But the sun is a rare occurrence in Forks. The frequency of Bella's period is way more than the sun shining! Bella would get her period once a month, she is regular as clockwork as proven by Breaking Dawn. Let's say her period lasts 6 days (the median average length they last for.) Would Edward be able to be close to Bella all day? No! This would be a glaring issue for him! You'd think he would then have to also skip school on the days she was menstruating, which would mean that they would probably only see each other at school for like 3 weeks in any given month in winter and maybe 2 and a half weeks in a month in summer (allowing for some sunshine.) Edward would never graduate. Over 100 years old and stuck in high school, what a loser.  

An even bigger hitter of a question for Stephanie and for yourself to consider is: whether or not Edward counts as a pedo. He is technically seventeen, as that is the age he transitioned into a vampire. Note the completely anticlimactic scene where he admits to Bella his age in Twilight "how long have you been seventeen?"... "A while". The question remains, if you stop ageing- although the actual years you've been on earth totals over a hundred years old- do you remain the age you 'died' at? I would rule in Edward's favour, considering his otherwise disinterest in romance with his other high school colleagues before Bella (and despite matchmaker Carlisle literally turning Rosalie for Edward to date - pimp.) Also in terms of legalities, the age of consent in Washington is sixteen, so in terms of state laws, Bella is old enough to consent to a relationship with a one hundred and four year old. Shaky ground, but Edward won't be appearing on any fictional lists.  

Conversely, I would argue that Jacob Black definitely is a pedo. He imprints on an egg in Bella's ovaries! - "That was her," he told me. "From the very beginning." Someone call the police!!! I know that when I read it at twelve, this seemed odd to me, and that has not changed with maturity. If anything my dismay has grown! I'm not sure why, collectively, any audience of the series has not made more of an issue of this. Jacob states that the imprint is not currently sexual, he will just be a companion to the child and their connection will simply grow as Renesmee ages. Not only is this series based on Romeo and Juliet but apparently Lolita as well? To me, that is the definition of grooming. What would have happened if Bella had chosen Jacob rather than Edward? What then, Fur Boy? I think you will now agree with some lateral thinking, the popular Team Edward v Team Jacob debate is now very much void.  

What Bella has in her favour is that she doesn't appear to be a typical Manic Pixie Dream Girl, in spite of the male fascination she garners in Forks. Coined by Nathan Rabin in 2005, MPDGs are a stock character trope that is largely seen in films, where a vivacious and quirky female character serves the narrative by providing meaning to the male protagonist. However, because Meyer affords Bella little to no outward personality, she doesn't seem to fulfil this image completely. She is a blank image that allows the reader to project themselves onto the role, affording them empathy for her journey. She is an ordinary, normal girl in extraordinary circumstances. On the other hand, she does literally give meaning to Edward's life- once he has met her, her life consumes and governs his. As a mostly blank persona, although she does display some rare moments of wit, she bolsters her boyfriend's brilliance, magnifying the already vast differences between the pair. Despite Bella being the narrator for four out of the five books in the series, the central figure is Edward. This has the same effect as if she were a pure MPDG.  

Meyer also pushes her pro-life viewpoint through the birth of Renesmee, a clear example of her religious leanings (the no sex before marriage was also an indicator.) Although she does raise a pro-choice argument with Edward's desire to rip the mutant child out of Bella's womb, backed by Rosalie, Bella comes up trumps by keeping the baby. In fairness, how would they have aborted a demon child anyway? It craved blood, Bella exhibited a baby bump and suffered from morning sickness after five days... the decision seems sort of irrefutable. None the less this remains an interesting discussion point. 

Finally, I would be remiss not to point out the romanticised toxic relationships displayed in the series. The most likely candidates are our protagonists. Putting aside his desire to kill her until his lust trumps his attitude to her as a human blood bag, the fact that Edward breaks into her house long before Bella admits she also has feelings for him, and watches her sleep every single night, is creepy af. He continually gaslights her, attempting to suggest that she is crazy when she raises genuine queries about his actions and identity. Once he decides he is up for a friendship after previously warning her that they couldn't be friends, he isolates her from her friendship group and father, so much so, that when they break up she is left alone. 

So screwed up by Edward ghosting her and ending their relationship in New Moon, Bella starts taking dangerous risks. She tries to find the men who wanted to rape/murder her in Twilight, alongside driving motorcycles (despite her balance already sucking whilst walking in a straight line): all to provoke a reaction from an imaginary version of Edward that she summons at will. Edward also forces Bella to come and rescue his dramatic ass all the way from Italy after pulling a Romeo. Upon his return, he tries to re-isolate her and doesn't like her hanging out with her one friend, Jacob, who assisted her at her weakest moment. Granted Edward knows that Jacob has feelings for Bella, but still, it acts as further evidence of his controlling behaviour. Control seems to be the main takeaway from his personality, if the literary travesty Fifty Shades is considered.      

What may prove more telling than any argument I can provide, is Robert Pattinson's utter disdain for the character he embodied in the hit film franchise. He said to Variety "I guess the books are very romantic, but at the same time, it’s not like The Notebook romantic. The Notebook is very sweet and heartbreaking, but Twilight is about this guy, and he finds the one girl he wants to be with, and he also wants to eat her.” I can only imagine his response to the release of Midnight Sun- please god, don't make me film another one! 

Another toxic relationship that I feel is very much glorified and romanticised by Meyer, is Sam Uley and Emily Young, members of the shape-shifting Quileute tribe. Having imprinted on Emily whilst dating her cousin Leah, Sam doesn't accept that Emily doesn't want him to pursue her. Despite the imprint only affecting him and not Emily, he selfishly visits her daily to force his point. After another day of trying to force her to date him, she compares him to his father and he loses the plot. Phasing into a wolf, he rips her face off- viciously scaring the right hand side of her face permanently. Oddly, instead of getting a restraining order, Emily forgives her abuser as though nothing has happened and the pair live happily ever after on the La Push reservation. The relationship we all hope to attain.   

If you made it all the way through this mental breakdown of an essay, you might well ask: after so many negative reflections, surely you hate Twilight? Unfortunately nostalgic fool that I am, I still love the series, even for their many, many faults. Like any good loving relationship, one must question the obvious issues that occur, in order to progress to a deeper level of understanding. At least now, I have an article to refer back to when I find memes that give new meaning to these classic works of literature. Dear Stephanie, I look forward to some answers soon. 🌹