Dear Stephanie... The Twilight Essay No One Asked For: Periods, Pedos and Toxic Partners

It has been fifteen years to the day, since Stephanie Meyer released the first instalment of the Twilight series, a fatalist tale of two star-crossed lovers; one an extraordinary vampire, Edward Cullen, and the other a normal beige human, Bella Swan.     

I can only presume that the pressures of lockdown finances prompted the release of the companion novel, Midnight Sun, in August 2020. The draft copy was leaked online in 2009 and at the tender age of thirteen, I became embroiled in the intricate world of online book piracy; sucking up those illegal worlds with enthusiasm, akin to Edward's removal of venom and blood from Bella's infected hand in the dance studio. (I am aware you are now shuddering with disgust at my superior recollection of the series, like I shudder at Kristin Stewart's performance in the dramatised version of this scene.) I have just read it legitimately and let me tell you, things don't hit as hard when they're legal!   

Owing to this timely publishing and the fact that I have spent much of my furlough in the same manner as New Moon Bella: dispassionately watching the changing of the seasons from my window, (a 2020 mood if ever I saw one), I thought now was the perfect time to unpack some problematic issues my friends and I have struggled with for years concerning Meyer's vampire drama series. I realise no one wants this or will frankly engage with this, but my choices were limited to a blog post or finding a masters degree to exorcise the full extent of the questions I have rolling around my brain... and this seemed slightly less time consuming. 

The students in Forks, especially the male quota, were legit obsessed with Bella when she first arrived. Ignoring Edward for now, of those characters Meyer names (Mike, Eric and Tyler)- they all tried to d*** Bella down. I could understand the argument that Queen Jessica makes in the movies and Vamp Edward makes in Midnight Sun: that she was a shiny new toy as the new girl. It is true that Forks doesn't seem like an especially engaging town for the youth, so anything new could seem fun. But this being said, as soon as they were around Bella for a few days, they must have noticed her lack of personality. Why did they continue to find her hot s***? The boys of Forks also prove the point that no matter if a woman demonstrates not a single iota of interest in a man, because they find her attractive, they will continue to badger her and force her to feel the same as they do.   

Moving on to the car crash scene where Tyler skids on black ice and almost kills Bella dead because she is too busy staring at her vamp crush to get out of the way of the incoming collision. Later that day, Bella gets angry at Charlie after he tells her mother, Renée that she almost died. 

"Um... you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty. 

I was appalled. "You told Mom!" 

"Sorry"

Honestly what the f*** Bella? We get it, you have Daddy and Mommy issues. Which fictitious teenage girl doesn't? That is no reason to get angry at King Charlie, who spent his morning putting snow chains on your car before work so that you didn't crash. If I were Bella, I would have been more surprised if he hadn't mentioned it to my mother. What disrespect! (I would also like to take the opportunity here to note how under respected Charlie is in this series. A man of so few words and yet a shining star. I stan that man.)    

Now, on to what I would call one of the most fundamental topics my friends and I  have debated over the years. What happens when Bella is on her period? It is acknowledged by everyone at Forks High School that the Cullens already miss a lot of school. Side note: surely this would be some kind of problem, does attendance not count towards your ability to graduate in the US? Truancy seems like it would be a bigger deal. The sun makes them big old disco balls. But the sun is a rare occurrence in Forks. The frequency of Bella's period is way more than the sun shining! Bella would get her period once a month, she is regular as clockwork as proven by Breaking Dawn. Let's say her period lasts 6 days (the median average length they last for.) Would Edward be able to be close to Bella all day? No! This would be a glaring issue for him! You'd think he would then have to also skip school on the days she was menstruating, which would mean that they would probably only see each other at school for like 3 weeks in any given month in winter and maybe 2 and a half weeks in a month in summer (allowing for some sunshine.) Edward would never graduate. Over 100 years old and stuck in high school, what a loser.  

An even bigger hitter of a question for Stephanie and for yourself to consider is: whether or not Edward counts as a pedo. He is technically seventeen, as that is the age he transitioned into a vampire. Note the completely anticlimactic scene where he admits to Bella his age in Twilight "how long have you been seventeen?"... "A while". The question remains, if you stop ageing- although the actual years you've been on earth totals over a hundred years old- do you remain the age you 'died' at? I would rule in Edward's favour, considering his otherwise disinterest in romance with his other high school colleagues before Bella (and despite matchmaker Carlisle literally turning Rosalie for Edward to date - pimp.) Also in terms of legalities, the age of consent in Washington is sixteen, so in terms of state laws, Bella is old enough to consent to a relationship with a one hundred and four year old. Shaky ground, but Edward won't be appearing on any fictional lists.  

Conversely, I would argue that Jacob Black definitely is a pedo. He imprints on an egg in Bella's ovaries! - "That was her," he told me. "From the very beginning." Someone call the police!!! I know that when I read it at twelve, this seemed odd to me, and that has not changed with maturity. If anything my dismay has grown! I'm not sure why, collectively, any audience of the series has not made more of an issue of this. Jacob states that the imprint is not currently sexual, he will just be a companion to the child and their connection will simply grow as Renesmee ages. Not only is this series based on Romeo and Juliet but apparently Lolita as well? To me, that is the definition of grooming. What would have happened if Bella had chosen Jacob rather than Edward? What then, Fur Boy? I think you will now agree with some lateral thinking, the popular Team Edward v Team Jacob debate is now very much void.  

What Bella has in her favour is that she doesn't appear to be a typical Manic Pixie Dream Girl, in spite of the male fascination she garners in Forks. Coined by Nathan Rabin in 2005, MPDGs are a stock character trope that is largely seen in films, where a vivacious and quirky female character serves the narrative by providing meaning to the male protagonist. However, because Meyer affords Bella little to no outward personality, she doesn't seem to fulfil this image completely. She is a blank image that allows the reader to project themselves onto the role, affording them empathy for her journey. She is an ordinary, normal girl in extraordinary circumstances. On the other hand, she does literally give meaning to Edward's life- once he has met her, her life consumes and governs his. As a mostly blank persona, although she does display some rare moments of wit, she bolsters her boyfriend's brilliance, magnifying the already vast differences between the pair. Despite Bella being the narrator for four out of the five books in the series, the central figure is Edward. This has the same effect as if she were a pure MPDG.  

Meyer also pushes her pro-life viewpoint through the birth of Renesmee, a clear example of her religious leanings (the no sex before marriage was also an indicator.) Although she does raise a pro-choice argument with Edward's desire to rip the mutant child out of Bella's womb, backed by Rosalie, Bella comes up trumps by keeping the baby. In fairness, how would they have aborted a demon child anyway? It craved blood, Bella exhibited a baby bump and suffered from morning sickness after five days... the decision seems sort of irrefutable. None the less this remains an interesting discussion point. 

Finally, I would be remiss not to point out the romanticised toxic relationships displayed in the series. The most likely candidates are our protagonists. Putting aside his desire to kill her until his lust trumps his attitude to her as a human blood bag, the fact that Edward breaks into her house long before Bella admits she also has feelings for him, and watches her sleep every single night, is creepy af. He continually gaslights her, attempting to suggest that she is crazy when she raises genuine queries about his actions and identity. Once he decides he is up for a friendship after previously warning her that they couldn't be friends, he isolates her from her friendship group and father, so much so, that when they break up she is left alone. 

So screwed up by Edward ghosting her and ending their relationship in New Moon, Bella starts taking dangerous risks. She tries to find the men who wanted to rape/murder her in Twilight, alongside driving motorcycles (despite her balance already sucking whilst walking in a straight line): all to provoke a reaction from an imaginary version of Edward that she summons at will. Edward also forces Bella to come and rescue his dramatic ass all the way from Italy after pulling a Romeo. Upon his return, he tries to re-isolate her and doesn't like her hanging out with her one friend, Jacob, who assisted her at her weakest moment. Granted Edward knows that Jacob has feelings for Bella, but still, it acts as further evidence of his controlling behaviour. Control seems to be the main takeaway from his personality, if the literary travesty Fifty Shades is considered.      

What may prove more telling than any argument I can provide, is Robert Pattinson's utter disdain for the character he embodied in the hit film franchise. He said to Variety "I guess the books are very romantic, but at the same time, it’s not like The Notebook romantic. The Notebook is very sweet and heartbreaking, but Twilight is about this guy, and he finds the one girl he wants to be with, and he also wants to eat her.” I can only imagine his response to the release of Midnight Sun- please god, don't make me film another one! 

Another toxic relationship that I feel is very much glorified and romanticised by Meyer, is Sam Uley and Emily Young, members of the shape-shifting Quileute tribe. Having imprinted on Emily whilst dating her cousin Leah, Sam doesn't accept that Emily doesn't want him to pursue her. Despite the imprint only affecting him and not Emily, he selfishly visits her daily to force his point. After another day of trying to force her to date him, she compares him to his father and he loses the plot. Phasing into a wolf, he rips her face off- viciously scaring the right hand side of her face permanently. Oddly, instead of getting a restraining order, Emily forgives her abuser as though nothing has happened and the pair live happily ever after on the La Push reservation. The relationship we all hope to attain.   

If you made it all the way through this mental breakdown of an essay, you might well ask: after so many negative reflections, surely you hate Twilight? Unfortunately nostalgic fool that I am, I still love the series, even for their many, many faults. Like any good loving relationship, one must question the obvious issues that occur, in order to progress to a deeper level of understanding. At least now, I have an article to refer back to when I find memes that give new meaning to these classic works of literature. Dear Stephanie, I look forward to some answers soon. 🌹